Dr. Corny always surprises me. He called me today while he was on his lunch break and said Bug, what are we going to do about #asshole #2 for Thanksgiving.
Remember, asshole #2 is my second in line son of 3. He is the one with all the problems, emotionally, mentally..addictions and so forth. Asshole #1 is married with children and a pretty good life. We don't have to worry about him too much. Asshole #3, is 21 and still in the "I am free and don't bother with my parents too much stage". He will outgrow it. I don't worry too much about it.
But asshole #2 is the problem child. He is 27, but he is still my child. Yes he is grown, yes he is 27, but he is not mentally 27 and I don't think he himself looks at himself as a grown man yet. He also has a lot and I mean a lot of problems.
We had tried to fly him down here for Thanksgiving, but that didn't work out. Why? Well because he has no photo id. Why doesn't he have photo id....dig this....his friend got mad at him and DEEP FRIED all of his id. Yes, you read that right...Deep Fried it all. That just gives you a glimpse of what I deal with, dealing with him. I bet you never heard it before and I'm willing to bet you will never hear those words again..anywhere. His friend deep fried his id. Sigh, I sometimes feel like I enter the Twilight Zone when I talk to him. But he is my son regardless of how whacked out he is. I love him.
Dr. Corny knows this. He knows that my heart is sad and heavy because we moved to FL and I wont have any of my sons with me for the holiday. He knows that I worry about what asshole #2 will do on Thanksgiving, and how I wont enjoy my day or meal knowing that maybe my son wont have a Thanksgiving day dinner. They all came to my house year after year after year.
So, as I said, Dr. Corny called me today during his break and told me to order a dinner for asshole #2 for Thanksgiving. I was happy, that would solve the problem for sure.
So I spent the past hour and 1/2 calling all the different stores back home to see who prepares meals. I called several places that I knew for a fact that prepared Holiday meals and you just go pick them up. Giant Eagle was one that I thought was a sure bet. I had shopped Giant Eagle for years and years..about 25 I guess. They know me, they know me by face and name, they would say Hi to me when I entered the store, ask my husband how I was doing if he went without me. You get the picture. So anyways, I called them and told them what I needed. Sure they could do it, yippee I thought..problem solved. I then told him that I now live in FL and would like to pay now so that my son could just come pick it up the day before Thanksgiving. No! No? No, we don't accept payments over the phone. I said, oh come on, you know me, no he said again, it's company policy, no payments over the phone. You could be trying to comment Identity theft fraud. I said. huh? But you know me. Company Policy he said. We can't do it. Screw you I thought in my head, but politely said, oh ok, thank you, and hung up. So I then called Walmart...thinking, shit, Walmart does everything. She said, oh sure, you can come in, pick out the food you want and cook it at home. Again, in my head, I thought, you freaking moron. Instead I said, ok, that's not what I was looking for, thank you anyways and hung up.
I finally called Friedman's which is a small grocery store, and I had shopped there from time to time...and sure enough, they could do it for me. So asshole #2 will be getting a full Thanksgiving meal, cooked and ready to go, all he has to do is go and pick it up the day before Thanksgiving.
Now I can enjoy my Holiday :) Thank you Dr Corny. I love you.
